I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
