Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
