i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Is it because I queefed?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
