Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
