yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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