Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
