I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize