i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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