I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Did I show you my penis last night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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