Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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