I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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