Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
