Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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