Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm like, not good at living.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
