i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
