lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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