I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
