He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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