im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
