You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
