Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
