Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
