Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Your penis caused this!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
