but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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