...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize