did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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