So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
