New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i need some magic done to my vagina
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
