Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
