how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
