sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
