Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize