she kept yelling 'call me bella'
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
