just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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