Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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