meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
