You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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