Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I've blown a few things in my day
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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