By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
