you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
