What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
