How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
