Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
