Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
someone owes me an orgasm
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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