The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
