whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
