Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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