highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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