At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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