We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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