i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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