This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
