We're facebook friends in real life
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
no you cant smoke seaweed
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
