sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
