Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
