I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
