Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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