Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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