separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
