before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
