I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Acid is not a monday night drug
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
