her vagine was all disorganized.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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