Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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